lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
