he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize