Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize