Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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