please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
