I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
