the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Randomize
