He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
He passed out mid-signature
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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