There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
