is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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