just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
