so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
