does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
