ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
