I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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