I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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