Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize