You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Randomize
