I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Randomize
