so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
