I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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