party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
