if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
