she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
