I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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