yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
