I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
