you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
