and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
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