we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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