I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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