i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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