You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
