I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
