eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize