everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
