I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize