alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
