**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
