gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
