well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
