i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
