girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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