I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
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