I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
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