It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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