ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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