yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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