i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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