Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
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