Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
