Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
