I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Randomize
