To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
