someone get that fucking seahorse.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
