I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Dicks are not precious.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
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