You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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