Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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