i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
