What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
