I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
Randomize
