Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
tonight lets celebrate not being married
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
