You made me cry and you don't even care
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
cat food counts as protein by the way
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
